These are the eyeglasses with a built-in life coach that guides, mentors, and—if need be—provokes one to pursue better routes to attaining a happier state of being. Only available from Hammacher Schlemmer, the glasses have a built-in video camera, microphone, and speakers that connect via an integrated satellite nanophone built into the frames to a coach selected to suit your personal growth goals. A coach can see and hear what a client's day looks and sounds like. For those looking for lasting romantic relationships, a coach can observe the wearer's dating behaviors, providing rapid response in the form of remote temple shocks when one gravitates to the two-timer in the corner or sprays of calming lavender from the nosepiece before approaching “Mrs. Right”. A daily activity regimen imprinted digitally on the interior of the left eyepiece provides guidance for exercise as well as healthy eating. Sensors built into the temples detect heartrate, allowing a coach to offer encouragement such as “20 burpees are easy!” or brutal honesty such as “put down the donut, lardy!” The video camera allows a coach to provide time management reminders when one drifts off task and optional responses for hastily considered email responses or errant "Reply All" keyboard flubs. Red, Blue, or Black frames.
"I struggled with getting motivated to work out and navigating the dating scene. Now I'm hitting the weights every day and have a date with my life coach!"
--Jim Nasium, Boomer MS
"Being connected to a life coach 24/7 is the best thing to ever happen to me. After six years of credit card debt – I was able to pay it all off within a week after taking the life coach's advice."
-- Robyn Banks, Rattlesnake Gulch, NV
“Thanks to these amazing glasses, I no longer waste money on frivolous purchases. Now I have plenty to spend on wine, cigarettes, and lottery tickets!”
--Ima Wildman, Ocean City OK
Important Pricing Information
This item does not have a price
That will cause you to go broke.
It costs you nothing, to be precise;
It all was just a joke.
Happy April Fools' Day!
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While this innovation does not yet exist, we are always on the lookout for the Best, the Only, the Unexpected.